Post by whowaspack on Aug 2, 2012 9:25:16 GMT -5
AWA Championship Wrestling on ESPN
Friday, August 3, 1992
Taped from St. Paul Civic Center
Jim Ross and Lee Marshall welcome us to another exciting episode of AWA Championship Wrestling on ESPN, and we have a huge show for you this afternoon – we will see the All American combination of Hacksaw Jim Duggan and The Patriot face the Samoan Swat Team in a qualifying match, and we will see Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy go one on one with Razor Ramon, and we will have the debut of the Brother Love Show, but first – let’s go up to the ring for our opening match featuring Kamala the Ugandan Giant!
1)Barry Horowitz vs. Kamala:
Barry Horowitz waits in the ring, as the Ugandan savage music plays over the PA, but instead of Kamala, we see the “Doctor of Style” Slick make his way to the ring, and he takes the mic from Larry Nelson.
“No, no, no – not today – we ain’t playin’ that NO MO’ – it’s 1992, it’s a new AGE, it’s a new ERA – and we ain’t playin’ by WHITEY’S RULES no MO’ – we ain’t playin’ to no stereotypes – we ain’t dancin’ for the man no more – my man Kamala ain’t no UGANDAN GIANT – he ain’t never BEEN to Uganda – the man was born in MISSISSIPPI, and now he makes his home in South Central LA. The man’s been wrestling for damn near twenty years – you think he don’t know how a tag team work – you think he don’t know you gotta put a man on his BACK to pin him? WE AIN’T CLOWNIN’ NO MORE – this is REAL – so put your hands together for the NEW and IMPROVED KAMALA – THE COMPTON COLLOSSUS!”
“Straight Outta Compton” by NWA plays over the PA system, and fans – this is not what we were expecting – here comes Kamala, but he’s not wearing face paint – he’s not wearing a tribal mask – he’s wearing a Raiders stocking cap, a Raiders jacket, baggy jeans, and Timberland boots to the ring.
Kamala attacks Horowitz before the bell, and gives him very little offense, and puts him away in short order with a splash. Kamala rolls Horowitz on his stomach and mocks trying to pin him, before coming off the ropes and hitting him with a second splash. He turns him over and covers him – ONE! TWO! NO! Kamala pulled him up! Kamala pulls Horowitz up and slams him to the canvas, and now here he comes again – ANOTHER BIG SPLASH BY KAMALA!
Finally, Kamala hooks the leg and gets the pinfall, and now he takes the belt out of his jeans – HE’S WHIPPING BARRY HOROWITZ WITH THAT BELT! YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
WINNER: KAMALA (3:15)
Kamala now takes the ring mic from Larry Nelson.
“IT’S A NEW DAY – IT’S A NEW WORLD – AND I AIN’T PLAYIN’ BY YOUR RULES NO MORE! Ultimate Warrior, fool you in the wrong place – at the wrong damn time – because in TWO WEEKS – you in my way – you and me one on one to qualify for the AWA Heavyweight Title Tournament – and I’m gonna BUST YOU UP, FOOL!”
Fans, I don’t believe the transformation we have seen in the Ugandan Giant – I mean, the Compton Collossus – Kamala, with the Doctor of Style Slick, and they have called out the Ultimate Warrior!
When we come back, we will see Tag Team Qualifying Action!
COMMERCIAL 1
We come back from commercial with pre-recorded comments from “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff and Miss Elizabeth in front of an AWA backdrop.
“Last week, you saw what Mr. Wonderful was all about – you watched me qualify for the Heavyweight title tournament, and I was gonna do professional wrestling a favor – I was gonna take out the trash – I was gonna put Chico Santana out of his misery, when the Ultimate Warrior came out here and got in my business. Ultimate Warrior, you need to understand that this ain’t your show – this ain’t the ULTIMATE ERA of professional wrestling – this is the WONDERFUL ERA! This is MY time – you’re nothing but a SIDESHOW FREAK, Warrior – you’re not even fit to lace my boots. If you even qualify for this tournament, which I DOUBT – I hope I face you, Warrior, because I’m gonna put you in your place.”
2)Tag Team Qualifying Match – Hacksaw Jim Duggan & The Patriot vs. The Samoan Swat Team:
The SST is in the ring, and the patriotic music plays over the PA as Hacksaw Jim Duggan and The Patriot make their way to the ring, waving the American flag and of course Hacksaw has his trusty 2x4 as well.
The SST dominates the early portion of the match against the Patriot, but Patriot rallies and tags in Hacksaw, and the patriots clear the ring of the Samoan savages. Hacksaw stomps around the ring as we take a break.
COMMERCIAL 2
We come back from commercial, and Hacksaw is still in control, and now he sets up in the three point stance, but Samu comes in the ring and hammers him from behind!
The SST double team Duggan, but Duggan fights out of it and grabs the Samoans – DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! NO EFFECT – DOUBLE HEADBUTT to Duggan, but he staggers backward and is able to tag in the Patriot!
Patriot is a house of fire, and he dominates and now climbs to the top rope looking for the Patriot Missile – NO! Fatu pushed Patriot off the top rope! Patriot to his feet- SAVATE KICK by Samu, and now he tags in Fatu, and now he blindsides Duggan off the apron as Fatu off the top – HEADBUTT!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
WINNERS: THE SAMOAN SWAT TEAM (11:08)
The Samoan Swat Team has gotten the victory, and they advance to Chicago, but now they continue their assault on the Patriot, and they’re trying to unmask him, but Duggan is back in the ring with the 2x4, and he cleans house!
Duggan helps the Patriot to his feet, and even in defeat, they proudly wave Old Glory for the fans and get a U-S-A chant going.
We take you now to pre-recorded comments from the man who will be in our main event today – Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy!
“Razor Ramon – I don’t know a whole lot about you except that you call yourself DA BAD GUY – you walk around with your hair slicked back, twenty pounds of cheap gold around your neck, a tooth pick in your mouth – you wanna be some kind of tough guy, Razor Ramon, you gotta do a whole lot better than that because I’m from Badstreet USA – I ain’t playin’ a tough guy – I AM A TOUGH GUY! I don’t care how I beat you, Razor Ramon, but I am gonna beat you. Last week, I heard you say you’re gonna carbe me up – but reality is – I’M GONNA TEAR YOU APART!”
COMMERCIAL 3
We come back from commercial, and the ring is decorated with a red mat as a red faced Brother Love in a white suit stands in the ring.
“I LOOOOOVEEEE YOUUUU – ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the BROTHER LOVE SHOW – and my very first guests here on the Brother Love Show on ESPN television – my very first guests here on the Brother Love show here in the A-W-A – my very first guests are the men who I am going to MANAGE to the AWA Tag Team Championship – the Doctor of Desire Tom Prichard – the Gigolo Jimmy Del Ray – THE HEAVENLY BODIES!”
The Heavenly Bodies make their way to the ring, and both Prichard and Del Ray embrace Brother Love.
“Oh, Brother Doctor – Brother Gigolo – thank you for being here on the Brother Love Show, and the first question I want to ask you is – how is it going to feel on Labor Day in Chicago, Illinois when you win the AWA Tag Team Championship?”
Dr. Tom Prichard speaks for his team “You know, Brother Love, it is an honor for us to be here, and it’s an honor to have you in our corner, and to answer your question, it’s gonna feel GREAT to be the Tag Team Champions - now don’t get me wrong, me and the Gigolo don’t need any help with the ladies, but can you imagine what it’s gonna be like when we’re the Tag Team champions? They’re gonna be lining up around the block – we’re gonna be like Fredo – TWO AT A TIME, baby – it’s gonna be great – and I know you got a bunch of tag teams around here that think they’re hot stuff – you got Chris Candido’s big mouth and that big goof Brian Lee – they’re already out – Johnny Ace and Chris Jericho – good luck, kids – not in this life – the Samoan Swat Team – you know why their heads are so hard – because Mother Nature protects the weakest part of the body with the strongest – they may be tough but they’re also too dumb to beat the Heavenly Bodies – I’ve even heard a rumor that the Powers of Pain are coming here. The Powers of Pain – you may have the power, boys, but when you get in the ring with the Heavenly Bodies, it’s you who’s gonna feel the pain. It’s gonna become pretty clear pretty quick that the Heavenly Bodies are the best tag team in professional wrestling, just like it’s plain as day that Brother Love is the best talk show host in professional wrestling history.”
“Oh, Brother Doctor – that’s very kind, and that’s why I LOOOVEE YOU”
“We love you too, Brother Love, you can take that to the bank…”
WAIT A MINUTE! BAGPIPE MUSIC IS PLAYING OVER THE PA SYSTEM, and what’s happening here?
ROWDY RODDY PIPER!
RODDY PIPER IS MAKING HIS WAY DOWN THE AISLE, and he climbs into the ring.
“Brother Hot Rod – I don’t believe you were invited out here, this is the Brother Love Show, and…”
Piper rips the mic away from Brother Love.
“Ya know, I was sitting in the locker room talkin’ with Captain Lou, re-living old times, and I thought I heard this dope say something – what’s your name, son?”
“I’m Dr. Tom – “
Piper pulls the mic back – “I DIDN’T WANNA KNOW THAT BAD! I thought – I thought I heard you say that Blubber Love here was the greatest talk show host in the history of professional wrestling – is that what you said, sparky?”
“Yeah, that’s what I said, Piper – Piper’s Pit is yesterday’s news, and it’s all about the BROTHER Love show now, daddy - so why don’t you hit the bricks because you ain’t a part of this conversation.”
“I see – yeah, ya know, I could do that – I could walk away, or I could ask the people here tonight – do you think Brother Love’s the greatest talk show host in professional wrestling history? (Pauses for boos.) Or do you think it’s yours truly – ROWDY RODDY PIPER! (Pauses for cheers.) I believe the people have spoken!”
“The people may have spoken, Brother Hot Rod, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is the Brother Love Show, and it is very rude for you to be out here right now!” (Brother Love is poking his finger in the chest of the Hot Rod.)
“First of all, tubby, get this straight – I ain’t your brother, man – you’re lookin’ a little red in the face, I can see you’re a little agitated – you’ve got this pretty little red mat out here, you’ve got your handpicked guests tossin’ em softball questions and it’s real cute, but this ain’t kindergarten, man – this is professional wrestling – this is a man’s game – and let me tell you somethin’, Blubber Love, and I mean it when I tell you this – you put your finger on my chest again, and I’m gonna break it off your hand and feed it to ya, you understand me?”
“I will poke my finger in your chest if I want to – “ OH MY! PIPER’S GOT BROTHER LOVE’S FINGER – LOOK OUT! The Heavenly Bodies attack from behind!
It’s a two on one assault on Roddy Piper, but Piper is fighting them off! Piper sends Dr. Tom out of the ring, and now he’s hammering on Gigolo Jimmy Del Ray in the corner! Brother Love jumps on Piper’s back! OH MY! Piper dumps Brother Love to the canvas, and Brother Love begging off – LOOK OUT! DR. TOM IN THE RING FROM BEHIND WITH A CHAIR! Dr. Tom Prichard just took out Piper from behind with the chair, and now the Heavenly Bodies with a two on one assault, and Prichard pulls Piper up – DDT ON THE CHAIR!
The Heavenly Bodies now pull Piper up – BROTHER LOVE IS SLAPPING PIPER IN THE FACE! HOW HUMILIATING!
Captain Lou Albano is out here, and Brother Love and the Heavenly Bodies are heading for higher ground!
We’ll be right back!
COMMERCIAL 4
We come back from commercial with pre-recorded comments from the man who will be in qualifying action right here next week on AWA Championship Wrestling on ESPN, the legendary BOB BACKLUND!
“It’s great to have the AWA back – it’s great to have good wholesome professional wrestling back – REAL professional wrestling – the way it’s supposed to be, and I’m excited to be part of the crowning of a new AWA Heavyweight Champion – I’m proud to be right here in action next week, but I’ve got a big mountain to climb – a mountain of a man – Earthquake. When I was the WWWF champion, I faced a lot of men who were bigger than me, and the lesson I learned is that the bigger they are, the harder they fall – Earthquake – next week, you’ll find out that size doesn’t matter.”
3)TV Main Event – Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy vs. Razor Ramon:
Razor Ramon makes his way to the ring first, and he takes off his gold necklaces and hands them to the ring attendant, and warns that “if something happens to the gold, something happens to you”
“Freebird” plays over the PA system as Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy makes his way to the ring, and he stands toe to toe with “Da Bad Guy”, and OH MY! Razor just threw his toothpick into the face of Terry Gordy, and GORDY LEVELS RAZOR WITH A RIGHT HAND, and this one is underway!
Gordy dominates Razor in the early going, but he misses a charge into the corner, and that allows Razor to take control.
Razor is in control of the match, as we head to ocommercial.
COMMERCIAL 5
We come back from commercial, and Gordy battles back, and now he gets himself behind Razor – HE’S LOCKED IN THE ASIATIC SPIKE! Gordy has the thumb in the throat of Razor Ramon and this one will be all over – NO! Razor caught Gordy with a mule kick down low to break the hold, and the referee didn’t see it!
Razor stays on the offensive, and he catches Gordy with a fall away slam, and now he says that’s it!
He pulls Gordy in position, and he’s looking for the Razor’s Edge – NO! He can’t hold Gordy, and now Gordy gets behind Razor – Razor spins around – kick to the midsection, and Gordy hooks him…
POWER BOMB!
GORDY PLANTS RAZOR RAMON IN THE CANVAS, and he hooks the leg!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
WINNER: TERRY GORDY (12:44)
Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy gets the win here on AWA Championship Wrestling to qualify for the tournament semifinals at the UIC Pavilion on Labor Day, and now, fans, I’m told we have a commotion in the locker room involving Rowdy Roddy Piper!
We cut to Piper in the locker room, pushing other wrestlers and medical personnel away.
“YOU WANTED TO GET MY ATTENTION, BLUBBER LOVE! YOU GOT MY ATTENTION, MAN! Tom Prichard! Jimmy Del Ray! Heavenly Bodies! Yeah, you got my attention too, man – you wanna beat me up? I BEEN BEAT UP BEFORE, MAN! AND I KEEP ON GETTIN’ UP! You wanna slap my face, Blubber Love? Porky Pig, you better PRAY I don’t ever get a hold of you, man – where’s Captain Lou? CAPTAIN LOU!”
Albano comes over and tries to get Piper to listen to the doctors.
“I don’t need no stinkin’ doctors, man – the only doctor I want is Doctor Tom Prichard, and I’ll rip his damn head off too – Captain Lou – you and me go back a long way, and you know I don’t take nothin’ LYIN’ DOWN, man – you wanna give that red faced pot belly pig a microphone and a show, that’s your business – but all I’m askin’ is next week, man – you give me one thing – YOU GIVE ME PIPER’S PIT, MAN – and Brother Love, you and your Heavenly Bodies, I want you to watch real close, because next week on Piper’s Pit – I’m gonna find me a tag team partner – I’m gonna make him my special guest, and who ever I find to be my tag team partner, and I’ll scour this country high and low, man – whoever I find, Captain Lou, I’ll team with him against the Heavenly Bodies in a qualifying match in two weeks right here on ESPN – can you do that for me, Captain Lou, can you do me that favor?”
“You want it, Hot Rod – YOU GOT IT! Right here next week – Piper’s Pit – and if you can find a partner, you’ve got a qualifying match against the Heavenly Bodies the week after that!”
Friday, August 3, 1992
Taped from St. Paul Civic Center
Jim Ross and Lee Marshall welcome us to another exciting episode of AWA Championship Wrestling on ESPN, and we have a huge show for you this afternoon – we will see the All American combination of Hacksaw Jim Duggan and The Patriot face the Samoan Swat Team in a qualifying match, and we will see Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy go one on one with Razor Ramon, and we will have the debut of the Brother Love Show, but first – let’s go up to the ring for our opening match featuring Kamala the Ugandan Giant!
1)Barry Horowitz vs. Kamala:
Barry Horowitz waits in the ring, as the Ugandan savage music plays over the PA, but instead of Kamala, we see the “Doctor of Style” Slick make his way to the ring, and he takes the mic from Larry Nelson.
“No, no, no – not today – we ain’t playin’ that NO MO’ – it’s 1992, it’s a new AGE, it’s a new ERA – and we ain’t playin’ by WHITEY’S RULES no MO’ – we ain’t playin’ to no stereotypes – we ain’t dancin’ for the man no more – my man Kamala ain’t no UGANDAN GIANT – he ain’t never BEEN to Uganda – the man was born in MISSISSIPPI, and now he makes his home in South Central LA. The man’s been wrestling for damn near twenty years – you think he don’t know how a tag team work – you think he don’t know you gotta put a man on his BACK to pin him? WE AIN’T CLOWNIN’ NO MORE – this is REAL – so put your hands together for the NEW and IMPROVED KAMALA – THE COMPTON COLLOSSUS!”
“Straight Outta Compton” by NWA plays over the PA system, and fans – this is not what we were expecting – here comes Kamala, but he’s not wearing face paint – he’s not wearing a tribal mask – he’s wearing a Raiders stocking cap, a Raiders jacket, baggy jeans, and Timberland boots to the ring.
Kamala attacks Horowitz before the bell, and gives him very little offense, and puts him away in short order with a splash. Kamala rolls Horowitz on his stomach and mocks trying to pin him, before coming off the ropes and hitting him with a second splash. He turns him over and covers him – ONE! TWO! NO! Kamala pulled him up! Kamala pulls Horowitz up and slams him to the canvas, and now here he comes again – ANOTHER BIG SPLASH BY KAMALA!
Finally, Kamala hooks the leg and gets the pinfall, and now he takes the belt out of his jeans – HE’S WHIPPING BARRY HOROWITZ WITH THAT BELT! YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
WINNER: KAMALA (3:15)
Kamala now takes the ring mic from Larry Nelson.
“IT’S A NEW DAY – IT’S A NEW WORLD – AND I AIN’T PLAYIN’ BY YOUR RULES NO MORE! Ultimate Warrior, fool you in the wrong place – at the wrong damn time – because in TWO WEEKS – you in my way – you and me one on one to qualify for the AWA Heavyweight Title Tournament – and I’m gonna BUST YOU UP, FOOL!”
Fans, I don’t believe the transformation we have seen in the Ugandan Giant – I mean, the Compton Collossus – Kamala, with the Doctor of Style Slick, and they have called out the Ultimate Warrior!
When we come back, we will see Tag Team Qualifying Action!
COMMERCIAL 1
We come back from commercial with pre-recorded comments from “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff and Miss Elizabeth in front of an AWA backdrop.
“Last week, you saw what Mr. Wonderful was all about – you watched me qualify for the Heavyweight title tournament, and I was gonna do professional wrestling a favor – I was gonna take out the trash – I was gonna put Chico Santana out of his misery, when the Ultimate Warrior came out here and got in my business. Ultimate Warrior, you need to understand that this ain’t your show – this ain’t the ULTIMATE ERA of professional wrestling – this is the WONDERFUL ERA! This is MY time – you’re nothing but a SIDESHOW FREAK, Warrior – you’re not even fit to lace my boots. If you even qualify for this tournament, which I DOUBT – I hope I face you, Warrior, because I’m gonna put you in your place.”
2)Tag Team Qualifying Match – Hacksaw Jim Duggan & The Patriot vs. The Samoan Swat Team:
The SST is in the ring, and the patriotic music plays over the PA as Hacksaw Jim Duggan and The Patriot make their way to the ring, waving the American flag and of course Hacksaw has his trusty 2x4 as well.
The SST dominates the early portion of the match against the Patriot, but Patriot rallies and tags in Hacksaw, and the patriots clear the ring of the Samoan savages. Hacksaw stomps around the ring as we take a break.
COMMERCIAL 2
We come back from commercial, and Hacksaw is still in control, and now he sets up in the three point stance, but Samu comes in the ring and hammers him from behind!
The SST double team Duggan, but Duggan fights out of it and grabs the Samoans – DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! NO EFFECT – DOUBLE HEADBUTT to Duggan, but he staggers backward and is able to tag in the Patriot!
Patriot is a house of fire, and he dominates and now climbs to the top rope looking for the Patriot Missile – NO! Fatu pushed Patriot off the top rope! Patriot to his feet- SAVATE KICK by Samu, and now he tags in Fatu, and now he blindsides Duggan off the apron as Fatu off the top – HEADBUTT!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
WINNERS: THE SAMOAN SWAT TEAM (11:08)
The Samoan Swat Team has gotten the victory, and they advance to Chicago, but now they continue their assault on the Patriot, and they’re trying to unmask him, but Duggan is back in the ring with the 2x4, and he cleans house!
Duggan helps the Patriot to his feet, and even in defeat, they proudly wave Old Glory for the fans and get a U-S-A chant going.
We take you now to pre-recorded comments from the man who will be in our main event today – Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy!
“Razor Ramon – I don’t know a whole lot about you except that you call yourself DA BAD GUY – you walk around with your hair slicked back, twenty pounds of cheap gold around your neck, a tooth pick in your mouth – you wanna be some kind of tough guy, Razor Ramon, you gotta do a whole lot better than that because I’m from Badstreet USA – I ain’t playin’ a tough guy – I AM A TOUGH GUY! I don’t care how I beat you, Razor Ramon, but I am gonna beat you. Last week, I heard you say you’re gonna carbe me up – but reality is – I’M GONNA TEAR YOU APART!”
COMMERCIAL 3
We come back from commercial, and the ring is decorated with a red mat as a red faced Brother Love in a white suit stands in the ring.
“I LOOOOOVEEEE YOUUUU – ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the BROTHER LOVE SHOW – and my very first guests here on the Brother Love Show on ESPN television – my very first guests here on the Brother Love show here in the A-W-A – my very first guests are the men who I am going to MANAGE to the AWA Tag Team Championship – the Doctor of Desire Tom Prichard – the Gigolo Jimmy Del Ray – THE HEAVENLY BODIES!”
The Heavenly Bodies make their way to the ring, and both Prichard and Del Ray embrace Brother Love.
“Oh, Brother Doctor – Brother Gigolo – thank you for being here on the Brother Love Show, and the first question I want to ask you is – how is it going to feel on Labor Day in Chicago, Illinois when you win the AWA Tag Team Championship?”
Dr. Tom Prichard speaks for his team “You know, Brother Love, it is an honor for us to be here, and it’s an honor to have you in our corner, and to answer your question, it’s gonna feel GREAT to be the Tag Team Champions - now don’t get me wrong, me and the Gigolo don’t need any help with the ladies, but can you imagine what it’s gonna be like when we’re the Tag Team champions? They’re gonna be lining up around the block – we’re gonna be like Fredo – TWO AT A TIME, baby – it’s gonna be great – and I know you got a bunch of tag teams around here that think they’re hot stuff – you got Chris Candido’s big mouth and that big goof Brian Lee – they’re already out – Johnny Ace and Chris Jericho – good luck, kids – not in this life – the Samoan Swat Team – you know why their heads are so hard – because Mother Nature protects the weakest part of the body with the strongest – they may be tough but they’re also too dumb to beat the Heavenly Bodies – I’ve even heard a rumor that the Powers of Pain are coming here. The Powers of Pain – you may have the power, boys, but when you get in the ring with the Heavenly Bodies, it’s you who’s gonna feel the pain. It’s gonna become pretty clear pretty quick that the Heavenly Bodies are the best tag team in professional wrestling, just like it’s plain as day that Brother Love is the best talk show host in professional wrestling history.”
“Oh, Brother Doctor – that’s very kind, and that’s why I LOOOVEE YOU”
“We love you too, Brother Love, you can take that to the bank…”
WAIT A MINUTE! BAGPIPE MUSIC IS PLAYING OVER THE PA SYSTEM, and what’s happening here?
ROWDY RODDY PIPER!
RODDY PIPER IS MAKING HIS WAY DOWN THE AISLE, and he climbs into the ring.
“Brother Hot Rod – I don’t believe you were invited out here, this is the Brother Love Show, and…”
Piper rips the mic away from Brother Love.
“Ya know, I was sitting in the locker room talkin’ with Captain Lou, re-living old times, and I thought I heard this dope say something – what’s your name, son?”
“I’m Dr. Tom – “
Piper pulls the mic back – “I DIDN’T WANNA KNOW THAT BAD! I thought – I thought I heard you say that Blubber Love here was the greatest talk show host in the history of professional wrestling – is that what you said, sparky?”
“Yeah, that’s what I said, Piper – Piper’s Pit is yesterday’s news, and it’s all about the BROTHER Love show now, daddy - so why don’t you hit the bricks because you ain’t a part of this conversation.”
“I see – yeah, ya know, I could do that – I could walk away, or I could ask the people here tonight – do you think Brother Love’s the greatest talk show host in professional wrestling history? (Pauses for boos.) Or do you think it’s yours truly – ROWDY RODDY PIPER! (Pauses for cheers.) I believe the people have spoken!”
“The people may have spoken, Brother Hot Rod, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is the Brother Love Show, and it is very rude for you to be out here right now!” (Brother Love is poking his finger in the chest of the Hot Rod.)
“First of all, tubby, get this straight – I ain’t your brother, man – you’re lookin’ a little red in the face, I can see you’re a little agitated – you’ve got this pretty little red mat out here, you’ve got your handpicked guests tossin’ em softball questions and it’s real cute, but this ain’t kindergarten, man – this is professional wrestling – this is a man’s game – and let me tell you somethin’, Blubber Love, and I mean it when I tell you this – you put your finger on my chest again, and I’m gonna break it off your hand and feed it to ya, you understand me?”
“I will poke my finger in your chest if I want to – “ OH MY! PIPER’S GOT BROTHER LOVE’S FINGER – LOOK OUT! The Heavenly Bodies attack from behind!
It’s a two on one assault on Roddy Piper, but Piper is fighting them off! Piper sends Dr. Tom out of the ring, and now he’s hammering on Gigolo Jimmy Del Ray in the corner! Brother Love jumps on Piper’s back! OH MY! Piper dumps Brother Love to the canvas, and Brother Love begging off – LOOK OUT! DR. TOM IN THE RING FROM BEHIND WITH A CHAIR! Dr. Tom Prichard just took out Piper from behind with the chair, and now the Heavenly Bodies with a two on one assault, and Prichard pulls Piper up – DDT ON THE CHAIR!
The Heavenly Bodies now pull Piper up – BROTHER LOVE IS SLAPPING PIPER IN THE FACE! HOW HUMILIATING!
Captain Lou Albano is out here, and Brother Love and the Heavenly Bodies are heading for higher ground!
We’ll be right back!
COMMERCIAL 4
We come back from commercial with pre-recorded comments from the man who will be in qualifying action right here next week on AWA Championship Wrestling on ESPN, the legendary BOB BACKLUND!
“It’s great to have the AWA back – it’s great to have good wholesome professional wrestling back – REAL professional wrestling – the way it’s supposed to be, and I’m excited to be part of the crowning of a new AWA Heavyweight Champion – I’m proud to be right here in action next week, but I’ve got a big mountain to climb – a mountain of a man – Earthquake. When I was the WWWF champion, I faced a lot of men who were bigger than me, and the lesson I learned is that the bigger they are, the harder they fall – Earthquake – next week, you’ll find out that size doesn’t matter.”
3)TV Main Event – Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy vs. Razor Ramon:
Razor Ramon makes his way to the ring first, and he takes off his gold necklaces and hands them to the ring attendant, and warns that “if something happens to the gold, something happens to you”
“Freebird” plays over the PA system as Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy makes his way to the ring, and he stands toe to toe with “Da Bad Guy”, and OH MY! Razor just threw his toothpick into the face of Terry Gordy, and GORDY LEVELS RAZOR WITH A RIGHT HAND, and this one is underway!
Gordy dominates Razor in the early going, but he misses a charge into the corner, and that allows Razor to take control.
Razor is in control of the match, as we head to ocommercial.
COMMERCIAL 5
We come back from commercial, and Gordy battles back, and now he gets himself behind Razor – HE’S LOCKED IN THE ASIATIC SPIKE! Gordy has the thumb in the throat of Razor Ramon and this one will be all over – NO! Razor caught Gordy with a mule kick down low to break the hold, and the referee didn’t see it!
Razor stays on the offensive, and he catches Gordy with a fall away slam, and now he says that’s it!
He pulls Gordy in position, and he’s looking for the Razor’s Edge – NO! He can’t hold Gordy, and now Gordy gets behind Razor – Razor spins around – kick to the midsection, and Gordy hooks him…
POWER BOMB!
GORDY PLANTS RAZOR RAMON IN THE CANVAS, and he hooks the leg!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
WINNER: TERRY GORDY (12:44)
Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy gets the win here on AWA Championship Wrestling to qualify for the tournament semifinals at the UIC Pavilion on Labor Day, and now, fans, I’m told we have a commotion in the locker room involving Rowdy Roddy Piper!
We cut to Piper in the locker room, pushing other wrestlers and medical personnel away.
“YOU WANTED TO GET MY ATTENTION, BLUBBER LOVE! YOU GOT MY ATTENTION, MAN! Tom Prichard! Jimmy Del Ray! Heavenly Bodies! Yeah, you got my attention too, man – you wanna beat me up? I BEEN BEAT UP BEFORE, MAN! AND I KEEP ON GETTIN’ UP! You wanna slap my face, Blubber Love? Porky Pig, you better PRAY I don’t ever get a hold of you, man – where’s Captain Lou? CAPTAIN LOU!”
Albano comes over and tries to get Piper to listen to the doctors.
“I don’t need no stinkin’ doctors, man – the only doctor I want is Doctor Tom Prichard, and I’ll rip his damn head off too – Captain Lou – you and me go back a long way, and you know I don’t take nothin’ LYIN’ DOWN, man – you wanna give that red faced pot belly pig a microphone and a show, that’s your business – but all I’m askin’ is next week, man – you give me one thing – YOU GIVE ME PIPER’S PIT, MAN – and Brother Love, you and your Heavenly Bodies, I want you to watch real close, because next week on Piper’s Pit – I’m gonna find me a tag team partner – I’m gonna make him my special guest, and who ever I find to be my tag team partner, and I’ll scour this country high and low, man – whoever I find, Captain Lou, I’ll team with him against the Heavenly Bodies in a qualifying match in two weeks right here on ESPN – can you do that for me, Captain Lou, can you do me that favor?”
“You want it, Hot Rod – YOU GOT IT! Right here next week – Piper’s Pit – and if you can find a partner, you’ve got a qualifying match against the Heavenly Bodies the week after that!”
